Cauliflower Fried Rice {Grain Free}

CauliflowerRiceCornerI’m always looking for ways to get more vegetables.

You guys.  IT IS HARD.

While I don’t hate grains, (in fact, I adore them), I know my body doesn’t do well with a carbohydrate-heavy diet and I tend to feel uncomfortably full and bloated after eating them.  I also truly believe in a veggie-based diet, especially because I struggle with PCOS and endometriosis.  I have to keep my babymaker in good shape, and the best and first line of health for me is nutrition.  It’s part of an overall commitment to health and hormone balance.

When I can replace grains with veggies, I do. When I can replace grains and not miss them even a little bit, I absolutely do.

I’ve perused Pinterest and have seen the fried rice recipes with cauliflower.  I usually dismissed them because it’s typically so much prep work to get cauliflower to taste like something awesome. But with the fried cauliflower “rice”, it was a total breeze.

Are you ready for my secret weapon?


Yep, a cheese grater.

I’ve tried a food processor, blender, knife tricks, and dicing or mashing after steaming.  The cheese grater, though, was so easy to use (albeit messy).  I just plunked the grater in a deep bowl,  trimmed and quartered the head of cauliflower, then grated away.


The final result? A flavorful, slightly spicy dish that is wonderful as a standalone and completely filling and satisfying.  I didn’t miss the rice even a little.



  • 1 large head cauliflower, trimmed and grated
  • 1 12 oz bag of frozen mixed veggies (I prefer the California Blend)
  • 1 12 oz bag of frozen cut green beans
  • 12 oz of cooked protein of your choice (optional, but leftover meat works great!)
  • 1 head of garlic, minced or crushed
  • 1 small onion, minced
  • 2 Tbsp fresh ginger, grated or minced
  • Bragg’s Amino Acids, Tamrari, or organic soy sauce (I prefer Bragg’s)
  • 2 eggs
  • 3 Tbsp Avocado oil, ghee, or another high smoking point oil
  • 1 tsp red pepper flakes (optional)
  • Salt and Pepper


  1. In a large skillet, add frozen veggies and a tablespoon (or more) of Bragg’s.  If you want some extra spice, add red pepper flakes. Cook on medium high, stirring every five minutes until they are steaming hot.
  2. While vegetables are cooking, sauté onion in a large skillet or wok in 2 tablespoons of oil until translucent.  Add garlic and ginger and cook until soft and slightly golden.
  3. Add grated cauliflower to the garlic, onion, and ginger.  Add remaining oil, two tablespoons of Bragg’s, and mix thoroughly. Allow cauliflower to cook until tender.
  4. Once cauliflower is tender, push it to the sides, creating a hole in the middle of the pan.  A three inch circle of the pan should be exposed.  Crack eggs into the exposed circle, scrambling with a fork or spatula continuously.  The egg will cook into the cauliflower, and that’s okay.
  5. Once your eggs are scrambled, add protein and veggies (minus any liquid), to the cauliflower and mix thoroughly.  Add salt and pepper to taste and serve immediately.

I’m eating this today for lunch as leftovers.  It tastes so good without heating, but reheats like a dream in a skillet on the stove top.

This veggie thing.  It’s not THAT hard.


Creamy Avocado Zoodles {Paleo Vegan Raw}

My friend, Feather, is hilarious.  She’s also kind of a genius.

We met when our babies were still safe little blueberries, growing fast in our bellies.  I offered Feather my drink tickets at my husband’s office Christmas party.  She declined, telling me she was pregnant.  Then I got (too) excited and exclaimed “Me, too!” and thus a friendship was born. And then our babies were born shortly after.

Our kids, E and Rosebud, were born exactly one week apart and Feather and I have been able to support and love each other on every part of this parenting journey.  We are often grateful that our babies conspired to bring us together, because everyone knows babies are magic and can totally do that.  E and Rosebud knew we would need each other.  They were right.  Because Magic.

One day, when our babies were about 6 months old, Feather texted me about a new product she had purchased called the “Vegetti”.  We giggled and turned into 14 year-olds immediately, and then spent an afternoon volleying inappropriate jokes back and forth between diaper changes and bottle feedings.  Because new moms need lots of distraction and laughter, even if it involves bathroom humor.  Maybe especially if it does.

Of course, I had to buy a Vegetti immediately. The Vegetti is a vegetable spiralizer and uses fresh vegetables, like carrots and zucchini, to make noodles.  I experimented and played with it, and came up with a really yummy dish (and several more jokes) that satisfied me for several hours. It also provided a big boost of healthy fat and nutrient dense veggies, which I desperately needed.  It was a fast, healthy lunch, and with a handful of cashews or some uncured ham, it was a complete meal for me.


*If you don’t have a spiralizer or don’t want to invest in one, you can use a carrot peeler and make wider noodles. It will work just as well, and create a slightly different texture.  You can also add some shredded parmesan to add depth and a hint of buttery flavor.

  • 1 large zucchini, spiralized, shredded or peeled
  • 1 medium avocado
  • 8-10 cherry or grape tomatoes, halved
  • 3-4 leaves of fresh basil, chopped or ribboned
  • 1 Tbsp fresh lemon juice
  • sea salt and pepper


  1. Put noodles and basil in a medium mixing bowl.
  2. Mash avocado, adding salt and pepper and lemon juice.
  3. Add mashed avocado to the zucchini, and mix thoroughly.
  4. Add tomatoes and stir until they are coated in avocado and well incorporated.
  5. Serve immediately with fresh cracked pepper and a little extra basil on top.

Feather and I are still making jokes, supporting each other in the middle of our crazy times, and raising our babies together.  We even had a mommy getaway last year and Cannon Beach gave us this amazing moment because it somehow knew we needed it. Or maybe our babies knew we needed it and arranged it with their Baby Magic. Who knows?  But we definitely loved our wine and beach sunset. Kind of like you will love the zoodles.


Vegging and Vegetti-ing,


Kale Waldorf Salad

 This is my Gram.

She was a total fox, right?

She was full of snap and sparkle.  She had a sharp tongue and quick wit.  She lived a wild life before leaving this world at the ripe age of 91. In her younger years, she smooched plenty of cute boys, danced until dawn with a young Merv Griffin, Aaron Spelling, and Errol Flynn in San Francisco during WWII. She survived a near fatal car accident that resulted in a broken back, and a million other crazy things that would amaze you.  In her later years, Gram kicked a life-long addiction to alcohol, became the belle of her church singles group when she was in her 70’s after my grandfather passed away, and loved riding on the back of her church friends’ motorcycles in her leather Harley vest and boots. She was a complicated, outspoken, generous and amazing lady. I loved Gram then, and I love her still, brambles and all.

Gram was a devoted veggie lover. I’ve actually never seen anyone eat more vegetables without juicing them.  She ate a big salad for lunch every single day, and always ate salad at dinner, too.  And then she ate more veggies on the side.  She obsessed over vegetables, and salads in particular.  I’m certain her consumption of vegetables will be remembered for decades to come.

A few years ago, I found myself preparing a meal for most of my extended family for a small reception after Gram’s memorial service.  And since salad was her very favorite food group, I had to honor her, right?

Since 90% of the prep had to be done the night before, I needed to find something that could withstand overnight storage.  I needed to pull it out of the fridge and get it on the table in 10 minutes.  It also had to be something that I could eat and that my family would want to eat.  (Sometimes, we don’t always like the same things.  Shocking, I know.)

Kale definitely fit the bill. I knew that my mom would really like it, since she is my Gram’s daughter.  I knew my brother would probably try it, even though he really dislikes kale, just because he trusts my cooking.  I also have a previous track record of helping him overcome aversions to certain foods, like brussels sprouts.  My dad is ridiculously easy to please.  My cousin and his wife are mostly vegetarian, and are fairly food-adventurous.  As for the rest of the family, they would either try it to be nice, or discreetly move on to the chicken salad and veggie tray.

But all those reasons aside, I knew Gram would love this dish and enjoy every bite. I hummed her favorite 40’s songs while I prepped, and smiled when I served it in her favorite wooden salad bowl.



2 bunches of kale, de-stemmed and cut into ribbons

2 cruncy apples, sliced into little quarter-moon pieces (I prefer honey crisp or pink lady)

1/2 cup dried unsweetened blueberries or currants

1/2 cup pine nuts

3 Tbsp (heaping) stone ground mustard

1 Tbsp white wine vinegar

2 tsp basalmic vinegar

1/2 small lemon

1/2 tsp grated nutmeg

black pepper to taste


  1. In a VERY LARGE BOWL, place your prepared kale, apples, mustard, vinegars, mustard and lemon juice then mix well.
  2. Add dried blueberries, pine nuts and nutmeg
  3. Mix everything together using your hands and gently squeeze until kale starts to reduce slightly in volume.
  4. Taste it.  What does it need?  Pepper?  More nutmeg?  More baslamic vinegar?  Add it.
  5. Transfer to a sealed container and store in refrigerator for up to 3 days.

Making food that connects me to the people I love long after they’ve passed is a way for me to actively keep who they were to me alive and tangible, even through a dish as simple as a salad.  The power of food is incredible.  Thank you for letting me share it with you.


Veggie Lover for Life,


Crêpes Florentine {Grain-Free}

Crepe CloseThis is a story about Paris.

In my early 20’s, I did some short-term non-profit work in Kenya.  I had an option of extending my layover in London for $20 for up to two weeks.  I jumped at the opportunity to do a little backpacking and fulfill a lifelong dream to visit Europe.  I took the Chunnel from London to Paris and couldn’t wait to fall in love with the City of Lights.

Except it was broad daylight and I was lost and carrying a 50lb pack with all of my worldly possessions in it.  After wandering and backtracking and asking directions from the disapproving locals, I found my hostel after an hour.  I nearly cried with relief.

The neighborhood was…sketchy.  Close to the Moulin Rouge, it had a fascinating mix of people, mostly tourists, drug addicts, and aggressively struggling artists.  I was terrified and charmed at once.

I checked into the hostel which matched the neighborhood.  It was filthy, but I was in Paris.  Paris is dirty, right?  Like every other big city in the world.  I paid a few extra bucks for bed linens, threw my stuff in my room, and took off to explore the city in the early summer light.

I found the subway with no problem this time.  I boarded and felt my heart leap as we came above ground and I had my first glimpse of the Eiffel Tower.  I might have gotten choked up seeing the great steel structure.  I had dreamed of Paris since I was a little girl.  And my dream was coming true.

I got off the subway at the nearest stop to the Eiffel Tower.  I made a beeline for it, overwhelmed with the grandness of it.  It was everything I dreamed it would be.

I spotted a man with a small crêpe stand, and ordered a Nutella crêpe. It was the most revolutionary thing I had ever eaten. Then I ordered a savory crêpe with spinach and ham and brie.  It was the second best thing I had ever eaten.  I took my crêpes and a bottle of water to the lawn in front of the Eiffel Tower and laid back.  I watched people come and go, everyone full of laughter and early summer sparkle.  Then I grabbed another Nutella crêpe on my way back to the train.

It was 9:00pm and still light outside.  I made my way back to my hostel, suddenly feeling very vulnerable.  I held my head high, looked straight ahead, and expertly ignored the calls for attention and invitations to share cigarettes with French men.  I got to the hostel with a sigh of relief and headed up to my room.

I opened the door.  A tiny mouse scattered across the floor.  It was charming in an odd way. I mean, it was very Parisian, right?  I made my bed, took a shower, and headed downstairs to see what was happening in the bar/lounge.  I made some friends, shared a cheap bottle of wine, and then went back to my room to sleep.

Except I did not sleep.

I pulled my sheets back and there were…unwanted bed mates.  I wish I could say they were bedbugs, but they were much larger and horrifying.  I swatted them out of my bed (remember, I had just been in Africa so it was NBD), and pulled out my can of African bug repellent.  I opened the window to ventilate the room and tried to settle in.

My sleep was uneasy, to say the least. Noise and lights and music from the street drifted into my room and I felt like I was actually in the middle of the revelry. People on the fire escape outside my room were drinking and singing. It was too hot and poisonous to close the window, though.

I finally nodded off around 3:00, only to be woken up by a cat chasing a very large rat around my room.  They had both entered through my open window. I watched the cat catch the rat, incapacitated it, and then took his leave through the window.  Then it was just me and a slowly dying rat in my pest-infested hostel room at 6:30 am.

It was a sign.

I got up, showered again, packed all of my gear, and checked out.  I spent the morning searching for a decent place to stay, and in the process offended every Parisian ever with my questions and unintelligible French. All the good hostels had been booked well in advance.  I ate another fantastic crêpe by the Eiffel Tower and then booked an overnight train to Prague.  While I loved the tower and crêpes, I couldn’t leave Paris fast enough.

I’ve been back to Paris a few times since then.  Each experience was progressively better, but besides the food, art, and architecture, I never was able to surrender my heart to the city.

I still have a strong affinity for crêpes, though.  They’re hard to master, but I certainly try even with my food intolerances.  I gave this recipe a go, and I love the simplicity and versatility of it.  The crêpes themselves are simple, and so is the filling.  This particular crêpe lands somewhere between a Florentine and Lorraine, so I created a hybrid.  I hope you enjoy them as much as I do.

Crepe Big

Ingredients for Crêpes:

  • 2 eggs
  • 2 oz cream cheese
  • pinch of nutmeg and cinnamon

Directions for Crêpes:

  1. Blend all of the ingredients together in a blender or magic bullet until smooth.
  2. Tap the batter on the counter to release some of the bubbles. (I’m too impatient to wait for them to settle on their own!)
  3. In a lightly greased sautee pan on medium low heat, pour batter into pan. Rotate the pan quickly to spread batter out before it cooks too much.  You want the crepe to be thin and even.
  4. Flip when crepe is firm and the batter is no longer shiny on top.  Once flipped, the crêpe will cook very quickly, (30 seconds).

Ingredients for Filling:

  • 1 slice of ham, cut into postage stamp sized pieces
  • 1 handful of raw spinach
  • 1 small slice of brie

Directions for Filling:

  1. Heat up ham in a skillet (I use the crepe skillet)
  2. Add the spinach and just wilt it a bit.  It should be warm but not slimy.
  3. Put filling in an open crepe, and top with brie.
  4. Crack a little fresh pepper over it, and if you have it, a garlic mustard aioli.
  5. Fold up like a burrito, leaving one end open.  Serve immediately.


This is street food at it’s finest.  It’s so yummy and easy.  I love this for breakfast, especially because you get your greens in.  You can make the crepes in advance and use them for sandwich wraps, or make it sweet and add a little honey and vanilla to the batter and stuff with hazelnut chocolate spread.  You could make them thicker and call it a pancake.  The options are endless!i

This is as  close to Paris as I ever want to be again.  Italy, on the other hand…

Ouî Ouî,



Buttered Coffee – Why Fat Is GOOD For You

Unless you live under a rock, you’ve probably heard about buttered coffee by now.

If, by some miracle, you haven’t heard of it, let me tell you…

Buttered Coffee

It’s heaven in a mug.

Imagine the creamiest, most decadent latté you’ve ever tasted, almost like drinking liquid velvet.  Got it? Great.

Now imagine that it’s good for you.

Many years ago in the ancient era known as the 1990’s, a fad diet told everyone to cut fat from their daily food intake.  It basically went like this: “Eat lots of carbs, and hey, why not replace all the healthy fat that naturally occurs in food with chemicals and sugar and  high fructose corn syrup so it will still taste good?! This is GENIUS”.  The Fat-Free Gospel was so well proselytized it’s taken over 20 years to break that damaging message.

So, from here on out, can we just make peace with fat?  Real fat.  Like butter and tallow from animals that were raised properly and coconut oil. Because margarine is not a health food.

Margarine Face
I mean this in the least judgmental way possible.

If you’re still on the fence about how fat is good for you, consider this.  Fat makes up 60% of your brain mass.  That’s right.  Your brain is a Total Fatty and it needs healthy fat to function. I guess being called a Fat Head isn’t so bad after all.

What are healthy fats?

  • Organic coconut oil
  • Butter from grass-fed cows
  • Ghee from grass-fed cows
  • Extra Virgin Olive Oil
  • Sesame Oil
  • Avocado Oil
  • Tallow from properly raised animals
  • Hazelnut Oil
  • Pumpkin Seed Oil
  • Grape Seed Oil
  • Hemp Seed Oil
  • Cod Liver Oil

In addition to making your brain a nicer place for your thoughts to hang out, healthy fat also burns more slowly than carbohydrates, which means you stay fuller longer.  Fat gives you luscious skin and hair, and in the case of grassfed butter and hemp oil, fat can be an excellent source of Omega 3 and essential fatty acids that keep your body functioning properly and even boost your immune system.

My favorite fats are anything butter/ghee and coconut oil.  In fact, that’s what I put in my coffee every single day, along with a tablespoon of Great Lakes gelatin. (Grassfed gelatin is another wonderful food, providing high amounts of easily digestible protein and numerous health benefits.)  You can add other nutritious goodies to your buttered coffee as well, but this is my favorite classic preparation.


  • 12oz of freshly brewed coffee
  • 1 Tbsp Kerrygold butter
  • 1 Tbsp organic coconut oil
  • 1 Tbsp Great Lakes gelatin
  • Sweetener (optional)


  1. In a blender or Magic Bullet, add coffee, coconut oil, butter and sweetener.  Add gelatin just before you blend.
  2. Blend on high for 5 seconds. That’s all it takes to become emulsified and frothy and magical.
  3. Drink immediately.

If you use the gelatin in your buttered coffee, beware. Gelatin solidifies when the coffee gets cold, make sure you drink it within 30-45 minutes or keep it in an insulated coffee cup if you know you won’t finish it. You might need to work up to that much butter and coconut oil in your coffee, or find that you prefer a little more of some or less of the other. That’s okay.  Experiment and have fun with it.

Also, make sure you blend this, otherwise you'll just have an oil slick on your coffee that is thoroughly disgusting.
Also, make sure you blend the coffee, otherwise you’ll just have a thoroughly gag-tastic oil slick floating on top of your morning magic.

I hope your day is filled with lots of coffee, fat, and funny moments.

Forever a Fat Head,