I’m going to attempt something really ridiculous. Ready?
I will blog while my toddler is awake.
(I’m trying to get a head start at this while he is asleep, FYI.)
As every Work-From-Home-Parent [WFHM] knows, nap time is GOLDEN. All of the emails and texts you’ve been half-assedly (totally a word) responding to between buttering toast, playing dress up, unsnapping stuck legos, refilling water, putting toys back together, being a human racetrack and jungle gym? They get finished. You get to do the real work, too. Like feed yourself. Maybe take a shower. Type an entire sentence without your two year-old turning off your computer in one stealth move.
It’s like two hours of industrious, work-like-a-maniac Heaven.
But what if your kid doesn’t sleep? What if your kid can only sleep on you? What if your kid decides to boycott nap time when you have a deadline or an important conference call? What then?
You let them watch TV. Lots and lots of TV. Except, what if your kid doesn’t like TV? I know what you’re thinking, “What kid doesn’t like TV?!”.
My kid….just woke up.
Where was I? Nap time is golden. Right. This whole work from home thing, unless your kid is napping, is HARD. I don’t know how you parents who work as accountants and speak in numbers ever get a complete thought out. I use words, and words are what everyone else uses. But you use numbers.
(Snack break. And I had to find his favorite matchbox car.)
(Where did that plastic bag come from? Nope, he definitely can’t have it.)
(Wrong snack. He wanted a rice cake, not mango. Duh.)
(Needs activity. Giving him his new National Geographic Kids magazine.)
Of course, parenting in general is challenging unless your kid is asleep. That’s the best thing ever. Do you know how productive I am during his sleep hours? I feel like I have my brain back.
(Good God, WHERE DID HE FIND A BOTTLE OF WINE? It is still sealed shut with the foil intact. At least he knows to bring it to mommy…?)
(Neighbor just got here. We are “working” together. Kind of. After a quick social media update for our websites.)
(Neighbor is now getting sidetracked, taking care of toddler and giving him attention. This is a great plan. I can get my work done!)
(And now my son has has officially abandoned the neighbor, and piled all of his stuffed animals on me.)
Am I still even writing? Because I have NO IDEA what the frick I was saying to you. Clearly it wasn’t that important, otherwise I would be able to pick right back up where I left off.
Words? Numbers? Algebra? What?
(And now I smell poop. Damnit.)
(Diaper check did not reveal poop, but there was too much pee to let it go. Then I had to let him climb me like a playground for a minute.)
(He’s “all done” with the rice cakes. Now we’re moving on to a super nutritious snack of tortilla chips.)
To be honest, I’m surprised that I complete any one task, work or otherwise, while my toddler is awake. If he’s not distracting me on purpose, I’m getting distracted on accident because I love to watch him move. I love to see how he interacts with his toys, so I end up shooting sly glances and smiling to myself because he totally melts me.
(Except he dumped out all of his chips while I was writing that last thought because I refused to eat the chip he offered me. Heartwarming, right? Is it bedtime yet? Wine time? BRB after I sweep up the mess.)
(Refilling his water bottle because he just dropped his cars into mine to tell me he was thirsty. Obvi.)
This work-from-home thing isn’t for the faint of heart. All of you parents who figure out how to do this with with limited (if any) childcare or other support are my heroes. And if you have multiple kids and do this, I will buy you dinner in exchange for your WFHP wizardry tips and tricks.
(Nope. That is DEFINITELY poop. Did he eat a rotten goat? That is gagtastic.)
(How did poop get on my shirt? And my elbow? Quick break for a change of clothes and baby wipe bath.)
My husband is home, and he’s early, which means it’s time to take a shower and then start dinner. I’ll clean this post up later tonight, during the most productive hours of my day when my son is sound asleep, and we are all fed and bathed and content after a long Tuesday.
I can’t wait to do this all over again tomorrow.
Your Fellow WFHP,